your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
