my vag is so smooth its legendary
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
