me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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