i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
