we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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