Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize