Sponge bath it is.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize