so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
