I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
