IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
