Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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