he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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