Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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