Too much gin, very little bucket
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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