I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
a search helicopter?!
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
