FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Two words: blizzard sex
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
