gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
