You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
