That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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