Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
