You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
