lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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