I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
