So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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