After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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