She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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