Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
