I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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