I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
