actually, I'm a sock model
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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