I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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