Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
So squirting runs in the family.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize