I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
