; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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