its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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