you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
