I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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