So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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