Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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