Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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