uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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