atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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