maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize