i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
