She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
