ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize