I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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