You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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