So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
