Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize