I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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