Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
