Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
