Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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