Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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