When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
