i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
