She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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