You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
