so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
