Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
