I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
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